At last I've discovered the reason why it is easier to stay out of close relationships: opening yourself to another person, really opening yourself, really being a friend, genuinely caring as opposed to only pretending to do so, involving the very heart of your being with the heart of another—means not being allowed the luxury of not feeling any longer.
It means that when they hurt, you hurt.
It means that their problems become your sorrow and your burden.
It means that fluctuations in the relationship can tear at you. Your emotions are no longer tangle-free; they're tied up with something external to yourself, and that's a little bit scary.
It means you're committed to doing whatever it takes to help them and meet their needs.
It means no longer being alone.
And while that can be a beautiful thing, sometimes, it's more than just a little frightening.
Do you stay selfish and closed up, restricting yourself to your little world, ignoring others and their problems so you can retain your safe but death-chilled isolation?
Or do you allow yourself to be vulnerable, and in so doing grow and change, become far richer, and alive?
That's the decision.
On it, hangs everything.