The pain is receding, washed away in ebbs and tides of God's love and mercy. We sing a song in church that has as its chorus:
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
For me.
As we sang it this morning, I realized it as strongly as I have never realized it before: his grace is enough. For me, for everything, for whatever. No matter how this situation turns out (and it is not resolved), his grace will be enough. It will be ok.
And that realization had me, as I suddenly noticed after I got back home from church, filled with a true joy and peace. The hurt is still there, somewhat, but it's been replaced deep inside with an honest joy. A real peace. Not a numbed narcotic-fuelled temporary addictive high, but the joy and peace that come from God's presence. And I know, that everything IS GOING TO BE OK. No matter what.
Thank you, God.