MISS MOOX + time

Hilarious 80s packaging

OK, this gave me a real laugh this week.

I was at work and was short of—let's say, "feminine hygiene products". So I was forced to resort to the vending machine in the ladies' room. When I did, this was what popped out:

This package is obviously from the 80s. Which begs the question: had it been in the vending machine since the 1980s, creating a sort of miniature time capsule, or has Gards been using this packaging since the 1980s? I'm not sure which option is more astounding.

I love the image of 80s womanhood being portrayed here. The bouffant hairstyle that probably required several ounces of hairspray to keep in place; the big dangly earrings, the PINK! suit with giant buttons and, most probably, shoulder pads; and the demure, downcast eyes contemplating a bouquet of pink roses.

Femininity is clearly a mysterious and weighty burden; the fact of her period has thrown this young woman into heavy contemplation. Being a woman, this package shouts, makes you delicate, fragile, and precious; having your period relegates you to pink-suited inactivity in which you dwell upon all that being a woman Really Means.

This is the picture of adulthood that made me want to barf when I was a child, around the same time this package was printed. I'm thankful all it survives as is anachronistic packaging. Having had my fun with it, I'm going to put it in the recycling bin. But I love the fact that there are more still stored in that bathroom time capsule...

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