MISS MOOX + time

Jobless in New Hampshire

So, I'm without a job. Yet again. The temporary job I had ended just before Christmas last year, just before I took off for a week with my family and spent like there was no tomorrow taking people out and things like that. Because? You only see your family once in a while.

I sort of half-expected that I'd come back and somehow go walking straight into a job, that I wouldn't be jobless for a month again and have no viable prospect on the horizon. I have an extremely zealous and over-enthusiastic lady working for me at one of my many staff agencies, who gushed, "I can't believe I don't have you working yet!" yesterday when she called me about yet another possibility. I can't believe it either, but it's ok with me, although the bank account has dipped close to zero more than once and is there again. I'm learning how to trust, though it's a rather unpleasant feeling at times when you don't have a clue how you're going to pay your rent in two days.

But all that given, it's a funny period of time: I think I will probably be moving back to Canada soon, though I don't know exactly when; I need to be working until that time to cover my expenses, though I can't take a permanent job; and even temp jobs seem scarce these days. I'm waiting for a background check at another agency, and once that's completed, in TWO WEEKS, I can, if I wish, take a mind-numbing and low-paying data entry job at a large local insurance provider. Which I will. If I have to.

So, I'm learning to trust. I've abandoned myself onto God and I know that he has to take care of me. So I don't worry. Not really. Not that I don't think about it. But it's out of my control. So I wait...and do what I can, in the meantime.

I wish sometimes that life would just fall into place, that things would just happen, that everything would be smooth and normal and reasonable like some people's lives. But mine isn't like that! I seem to have drawn the most unpredictable and unsettled one that I know. But that's ok; I'm learning to surf the waves and live with the adventure. Even if that means close to zero in the bank account on a regular basis. Even if that means no job quite often, and not knowing what country I'll be living in in six months. Even that.

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